Holes
by Jam Cow
Summary: Pokemon is full of holes if you pay attention...so many holes...
1. Chapter 1

This fanfic will refer to both the games and the show.

Story 1

No quotations= Narrator

Quotations= Someone's talking

* * *

"So…" the Professor Oak asked

"What?"

"Are you a boy? Or are you a girl?"

Red twitched.

"Is that a joke?"

"Are you a boy? Or are you a girl?"

"What the hell do you think I am?" he gestured to himself, glaring at the professor

Said professor paid no mind to Red's annoyance.

"Are you a boy-" he continued

"I'm a boy!"

"Ok then! Now...oh. I can't seem to remember my grandson's name…" Professor Oak frowned

"..."

"Ah! You've known each other since you were babies, right? What's my grandson's name?" Professor Oak handed Red a tablet to type in a name

Red stared at the tablet, then back at Oak.

"How could you forget your own grandkid's name?" Red demanded, "Also, are you giving me legal right to change his name?"

Oak said nothing.

"Well then…"

* * *

(Later)

"You!" a voice cried out

Red turned around to see his rival stomping up to him

He snickered a little before controlling himself.

"Hey...Dickhead." Red snorted

"How could you?! How could Grandpa!?" Dickhead thundered

"Why? What's wrong with the name?"

"Fuck you! Do you know what it's like introduce yourself as Dickhead? Fucking Dickhead?"

"Can't say I do."

Dickhead shook in rage, before yelling out.

"BATTLE! NOW!"

* * *

"Hey, Nurse Joy…"

"The pink haired woman turned around and saw Red along with his rival.

"Hello!" she greeted, "Would you like me to heal your pokemon?"

Both of them nodded and handed her their pokeballs.

"Alright, can I have your legal I.D.? It's so I know that these pokemon actually belong to you." Nurse Joy explained

Red and Dickhead were surprised by the information.

Red laughed, holding a fist to his mouth.

Dickhead quivered in embarrassment before the two trainers handed over their pokedexes.

"Ok, so I have Red, and...Dickhead?!" Nurse Joy laughed

Dickhead sunk to the floor questioning life while Red and Nurse Joy cracked up in amusement.


	2. Chapter 2

Story 2

Red yawned as he got up out of bed.

He stretched and looked around the room.

It was a nice one, with a P.C, a TV, a game console, a bed…

Wait a second.

There's only one bed in this house.

Red walked downstairs, and saw his mom sleeping in the kitchen.

His mom sleeps in the kitchen.

WTF


	3. Chapter 3

Story 3

No quotations= Narrator

Quotations= Someone's talking

* * *

Red was continuing along with his journey throughout the Kanto region.

Everything going going smoothly. Nothing bad was happening-

Uh oh…

Red stopped in front of a pure menace.

"OH NO! IT'S..IT'S...IT'S…" Red panicked

"IT'S A TREE!" he wailed

"And I can't do anything about it…" Red whimpered

…

Why...why can't you just walk around it

"If only I had the HM: Cut!" he despaired

What about an Ember from your Charmander? Burn that tree down!

"This is the worst thing imaginable!" Red cried

GO THROUGH THE TREE. IT'S JUST A TREE.

"Guess I'll go and talk to thirty people in hopes they have an HM they're willing to give me…" Red gloomed

He kicked a pebble with his foot.

"This situation is so difficult."

ARRRGH!


	4. Chapter 4

"Ember!" Red ordered

His Charmander complied, dousing the wild Zubat in fire.

The Zubat cried out as it fainted.

"Why are there so many!?" Red growled

He was cut off as another wild Zubat attacked him.

"NO!" Red yelled, "NO MORE!"

He pointed a finger at the Zubat.

"Why do you attack me!?" he demanded, "I literally just burned a bunch of your friends and left them there to die!"

He gestured back at the dozens of incapacitated Zubats twitching on the ground.

"You have no chance against me! Just let me through! A creature's first instinct is to survive right? FEAR ME!"

The Zubat gave no sort of response and fired a Supersonic at Red's Charmander.

Charmander suddenly gazed stupidly at the ground.

"Hey Charmander, are you okay-"

BAM

Charmander punched himself in the face.

"No! Don't do that!"

Charmander punched himself in the groin this time.

"Why?! Being confused doesn't mean having sudden urges to commit suicide!" Red cried out

"Being confused means trying to do algebra! Which is why I am not a productive and responsible member of society!"

Charmander paid no mind to his distressed trainer, and continued punching himself.


	5. Chapter 5

Note: Brendan is the male choice for the player character in Generation 3. This fanfic doesn't use OCs!

* * *

Brendan took out his pokedex to check up on type advantages.

He scrolled through the section that had the information of types.

"Alright...I know Water beats Fire...Ground beats Electric...Fighting beats Normal...and…wait… Fairy beats Dragon?!" Brendan said surprised

He pocketed his pokedex.

"Gotta remember that." he muttered

(Later)

"ROAR!" Rayquaza bellowed out

Brendan stood defiantly in front of the dragon-type pokemon.

"I'm not scared of you! Go Jigglypuff!" he threw a pokeball

A pink pokemon burst out of the ball and did a battle cry.

"JIGGLY Puuuuuufff…" its battle cry died off

Rayquaza and Jigglypuff both blinked before shifting their gazes towards Brendan, questioning his sanity.

"You got his Jigglypuff! You have a type advantage! Kick its ass!" he cheered

The two pokemon continued to stare at Brendan.

Brendan noticed the lack of enthusiasm on his pokemon's face.

"C'mon, don't be like that!" he pleaded, "After all, we still gotta beat the Elite Four Drake's Salamences and Flygons!"

Jigglypuff didn't find being a pokemon of Brendan's appealing, so it ran off...leaving Brendan to fend for himself.

"OH NO!"


	6. Chapter 6

Note: Ethan is the male choice for the player character in Generation 2. This fanfic doesn't use OCs!

* * *

"Cyndaquil! Use Ember!" ordered Ethan

Cyndaquil compiled and fired a small flame at the opposing trainer's Sentret.

It yelped in pain before passing out.

"No! Sentret!" the girl cried out

She sniffled while returning her pokemon.

Ethan grew nervous when the girl stalked towards to him.

"You hurt my pokemon…"

"Y-yeah...sorry about that."

"Just take my money, my phone number, and leave!" she cried

Ethan did everything she asked before cautiously backing away.

(Later)

"Jeez. I have so many numbers."

He scrolled through the numerous amount of phone numbers he acquired from girls.

"So…" he looked at Cyndaquil

"How many do you think would date me?" he questioned

*Deadpan*

"What? There's gotta be like one, right?"

Cyndaquil shook his head.

"Aw...I thought people liked it when I grievously injure their pokemon. I mean that's why they gave me their number right? I was starting to think I was macho."

The fire mouse shook its head and started walking in the direction toward the next town.

"Hey wait!"


	7. Chapter 7

Note: Brendan is the male choice for the player character in Generation 3. This fanfic doesn't use OCs!

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Brendan was making his way towards Rustboro City, until he saw a berry tree.

"Aw nice! Oran berries!"

He made his way over towards to the tree and picked a couple berries, putting them in his bag.

"I'll just grab a couple more-" he stopped short

The tree had disappeared.

"What!? Where did it go?" he exclaimed

"It was just here…"

He looked at the other two trees that were next to one that disappeared.

He slowly picked a few berries and…

'Poof'

The trees disappeared.

"What the hell? Trees don't work like that!"

Brendan stared at the empty holes that the trees were last at.

"Why did that happen? I mean-"

"Hey you!" a voice called

He swiveled his head to see an Officer Jenny running towards him.

"That's city property! Come here and face your punishment!" she yelled out

Brendan sprinted away.

(Later)

"So why...are you in jail?" Brendan's father, Norman asked

"Damaging property apparently…" his mother said

"Hey! It's not my fault! The trees just disappeared okay!" Brendan defended himself

"And do say, how did that happen?"

"I don't know!"

Both parents sighed.


	8. Chapter 8

Both Charizard and Blastoise were locked in fierce battle, fighting with all their might. Why would they not? This was probably one of the most important matches in their entire life.

Cause y'know...Pokemon League is pretty important.

"Chairzard! Dragon Claw!" Red ordered

The flame pokemon obeyed and slashed its claws at Blastoise.

Green's pokemon grunted at the attack and fell to one knee.

"Hell yeah Charizard!" Red cheered, "One more hit and then-"

"Hey Red!" Green called out

The trainer turned to the current league champion.

"What?"

"I see you're close to defeating me…" he started

"Yeah, why?" Red questioned

"Well, wouldn't it be a shame…"

Red's eyes widened.

"No…"

"If I reached into my bag…"

"No no no…" Red slowly said

"And pulled out…"

"Nooo…"

"A full restore?" Green held out a bottle, grinning

"Don't do it Green!"

"Imma do it!" he teased

"Don't you do it!"

"Imma do it!"

"Don't you do it!"

"Imma do it!"

"Don't you-"

"Too bad! I did it!" Green laughed

"NOO!" Red screamed

"Haha!" Green cackles

"You piece of shit! You went through like fifteen of those!" Red growled

"Hey! You have no right to say that! You used like twenty revives and hyper potions!" Green fought back

Red glanced at the timer on the wall.

"Ah! What the hell! We've been at this for two hours!" Red howled

"Just let me beat you!" Green said

"No!"

(One hour later)

"C'mon man! I'm hungry!" Green whined

"So am I!" Red sobbed

"Okay!" Green stood straight

He took a good look at the beaten and battered pokemon.

"Red!" Green called out

"What." Red looked up

"What do you say one final attack! Last standing pokemon wins!"

Red agreed.

"One final attack!"

Green counted down.

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

"Fire Blast!" Red called out

"Hydro Pump!" Green ordered

BOOM

A massive explosion shook the entire battlefield, with ash and debris flying everywhere.

When the dust cloud finally settled down, Red and Green anxiously awaited the fate of the battle.

And...

Both pokemon were on the ground, unable to get up.

It seemed like there was a tie…

 _*Twitch* *Twitch*_

"FULL RESTORE!/ HYPER POTION!"

Both trainers looked at eachother, before raging

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"


	9. Chapter 9

(Oak's Lab)

"Now…" Oak muttered as he rummaged through the parcel

He turned around and held out two pokedex's, one for Green and one for Red.

"These are your pokedex's! Any pokemon you see or capture will have information that specific pokemon recorded on there!" he explained

Green quickly pocketed his new device and ran off.

"Whatever! I'm off to go kick some gym leader's ass!" Green yelled as he exited

"Red was a little more patient and scrolled through his pokedex.

"Only thing was…

"Hey! There's nothing on here!"

"Well you have to capture-"

"But why? Researching pokemon is your job! You study the pokemon and record the information! That's what you do!"

"Ah, you see-"

"You have no excuse! What have you been doing your whole life?"

"Red-" the professor tried feebly

"What! Why is there literally jack-shit on this pokedex?"

This continued on for several minutes.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000/p

In the end, Red recieved no legitimate excuse.


	10. Chapter 10

"Quotations": Someone's saying something

No quotations: The narrator

* * *

(In a cave)

"Wow, it's so dark in here." Brendan commented

Well then you better find the HM: Flash

"Why can't I use a flashlight-"

You need the HM: Flash to get through this cave.

"But-"

No such thing as flashlights in the Pokemon world.

"..."

Brendan sighed.

"Goddammit."

* * *

 **YAY! We're at chapto 10! If you like, be sure to R &R! Cause that's the only payment I'll ever get for writing these stories...**


	11. Chapter 11

**Please R &R! Reviews are like my air! I need it to breathe!**

* * *

(In a mountain somewhere)

Entei roared in pain as Typlosion managed a successful hit on it

"Awesome!" Ethan cheered

The legendary panted heavily as pain spasmed throughout its body.

"Yo Typhlosion! Come here!" Ethan beckoned

The volcano pokemon waddled over and leaned its head next to Ethan.

"Okay," Ethan started, "I need you to do something very important ok?"

Typlosion nodded.

"I want you to scratch Entei weakly, okay? _Weakly_." Ethan emphasized the 'weakly'

"That way it doesn't die, and we can catch it." he held up an ultra ball

Typlosion nodded again.

"Go!"

Typlosion walked over to the severely weakened Entei, positioning its claws to weakly scratch it.

'Slowly. Slowly.' Ethan thought

Typlosion brought his arm down and slightly grazed Entei.

Entei screeched and flopped onto its side.

...

It was a critical hit.

...

"TYPLOSION NO! WHAT DID YOU DO!?" Ethan yelled

Typlosion was just as confused and panicked along with Ethan.

But after a while, Ethan thought of something.

"Wait! Can't we just catch it even though it's knocked out? Actually wouldn't that make it easier? It can't do anything when it's unconscious!" he said

Typlosion paused, before agreeing.

That made sense!

They turned toward the downed Entei, ready to catch it, but…

The KO'd pokemon disappeared.

"WHAT! HOW IS IT GONE?! It can't just walk off! We freaking crippled it!" Ethan screamed

* * *

In the end, Ethan never got himself Entei.


	12. Chapter 12

(At the Professor's Lab in Sinnoh)

Professor Rowan displayed three pokeballs.

"Take any one you like!" he said

"I get to have a potentially strong and rare living creature that I will enslave and force to fight other captive pokemon, for free?" Lucas asked

"For free." confirmed the professor

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

(At Lilycove Mall in Hoenn)

Brendan stared at the vending machine, wanting to buy a drink.

"Maybe I'll get a water-" he stopped short when he saw the cost.

"200 dollars?!" he said incredulously

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

(At a Pokemon Center in Johto)

"Hello! Would you like to heal your pokemon?" Nurse Joy asked

Ethan looked skeptical.

"How much does it cost?"

Nurse Joy looked confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Like how much do I have to pay? To get my pokemon healed." he elaborated

Nurse Joy shook her head.

"No silly! We do it for free!" she said

Ethan looked at her in shock.

"Really?"

"Really!"

"Holyshit! Free health care!"

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

(Bike Store in Kanto)

"I want a bike." Red said

The store owner glanced in his direction and said, "1,000,000 dollars."

Red stared back at the bike owner and flipped him off with both hands.

"Fuck you."

The store owner shrugged


	13. Chapter 13

"Quotations"= Someone talking

No quotations= Narrator

* * *

(Somewhere)

Red was out in the middle of nowhere and tired as hell. Pretty much all his pokemon were dead or exhausted. And without any items he was unable to patch anybody up.

Red sighed. He needed to get back to a city.

But how?

...

Oh wait!

Red smacked a fist into his palm coming up with a great idea.

He could use Fly!

Red released his Charizard that fainted from an earlier battle. The big orange lizard slumped and fell to the floor.

"Charizard use Fly!" Red ordered

…

I don't think that-

Somehow, magically, Charizard's body started to move on its own. Soon, Red was flying on a comatose Charizard.

"WHOOO!" Red hollered

The fuck?


	14. Chapter 14

Quotations= Someone's talking

No quotations= Narrator

* * *

Red was currently battling his rival, Green.

Their teams were pretty even power wise, but...

Only thing was, Red had a narrator on his side.

 **Rival Green is about to send out Pidgeot, would you like to change pokemon?**

 _"Yeah."_ thought Red

"Go Pidgeot!/Go Pikachu!" they threw their pokeballs

Green blinked, looking at the Pikachu.

…

"Hey! How did you know what pokemon I was gonna use?!" demanded Green

…

…

...

 **Shit! He's onto us! Get out of there! We've been compromised! Fuck!**


	15. Chapter 15

"Hey, Ash." Gary said, turning to face his used-to-be rival.

"Yeah?"

"Remember how you said you were going to catch 'em all? And how there's a whole theme song dedicated to you catching 'em all?"

"Yeah..."

"Why haven't you caught them all?"

"..."


	16. Chapter 16

Ethan was confused as he walked into the cave.

It was seemingly empty, with no pokemon anywhere in sight.

Oh well, guess that means no annoying battles-

Suddenly a gargantuan rock monster popped up in front of him.

Wild Onix appeared!

"OH MY F*CKING-"


	17. Chapter 17

The pokemart employee stared at Red incredulously.

"Uh, you sure? Buying 99 hyper potions, 99 revives, and 99 ultra balls seems to be a lot..."

"Yeah just give them to me."

The employee handed the items over the Red with much effort.

"Where will you even fit them? I mean that's a lot of stuff to be carrying..." the employee trailed off when Red somehow magically fitted the items into his small backpack

"How the fu..."

He continued watching in astonishment when the trainer yanked a bicycle out of the backpack, before speeding off into the distance.


	18. Chapter 18

"Hi! I'm May, and I'm ten years old!"

( ಠ ʖ̯ ಠ)

Everybody glared at her chest.

...Ten years old...

 _...Ten years old..._

 ** _...TEN YEARS OLD..._**

JAPAN!

* * *

 **Yeah, not going to lie, I totally stole this.**


	19. Chapter 19

"Hey what's your name?" Ash asked

"Brock."

"...?"

"Just Brock."

* * *

"My name is Ash Ketchum. What's your name?"

"Misty."

"...just Misty?"

"Yes."

* * *

"Just May."

* * *

"Just Dawn."

* * *

"Just Iris."

* * *

"Just Cilan."

* * *

"Just Serena."

* * *

"Just Clemont."

* * *

( ಠ ʖ̯ ಠ)

Ash stared at the computer screen as he searched up his friends' names on the internet.

...

*Click*

...

*Click Click*

...

*Click Click CLICK _CLICK_ **CLICK** *

...

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

"What the hell, nobody has a last name!"

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

No srsly, Bulbapedia doesn't have jack.


End file.
